It must be a mistake

 I was pretty sure it was a mistake. Surely they cannot expect you to drop your baby boy, just five years old, off to the first day of Kindergarten in the car line! So I asked for clarification. "You mean I can't walk him on the first day?" No, she told me. Apparently they think us crazy moms might break down being hysterical or something :/

So here we are. The eve of Kindergarten and my heart is torn. School is not new for us. We've been on that road since he was just 14 weeks old but this is different. This is elementary school. This is the beginning of a love for learning and an experience that will bring out his character, his wisdom and his personality in brand-new ways. This is eating lunch in a cafeteria and no one there to remind him to say his prayers. This is sharing hallways with big kids and new experiences every day. This is a special music class, PE days, library time. This is...well...a big deal.

I'm thankful that he's excited. I'm thankful that he loves school and seems to thrive in a structured environment. I'm thankful that I've had time to adjust to the idea of him being away from me during the day and that we have seen so many sides of him we love as a result of him being in school. I'm thankful he has a biblical foundation in his heart. But...but still. My heart is mixed tonight. Part of me wants to relive those early weeks with him at home. Part of me aches for the baby I could so easily protect. Part of me wants to just hang on and keep him young and innocent forever. But just as all parents do at some point in their children's lives, I must let him go and give him room to grow.

One of my all-time favorite authors and speakers, Lysa TerKeurst posted the following prayer on her blog a while ago and I printed it out and have kept in my bible since. I recently posted it on the refrigerator so I could pray it every day. It seems the perfect time to let this be my daily prayer -

God, make Connor and Isaac two of the most Godly people of their generation.
God, let them get caught when they make wrong choices.
God, save them from the wrong friends and the wrong mate, so they may be saved for the right friends and the right mate.
God, give me the courage to let You write Connor and Isaac's testimonies.

I guess it's time to put it into practice! I'll be the mom in the car line tomorrow morning snapping photos out the window and trying to be strong for my little man! In the words of one of my favorite songs...I'll have tears as you take off but I'll cheer as you fly!

Kindergarten 2011