life as i see it: Shirey Family Blog

From dream to reality

2012-01-21T13:50:00.000-05:00

Back in the "old days" when I was dreaming of who I would marry and what kind of family I would have, I always had this picture in my mind of my husband, dressed in business attire, scooping up his children to kiss them hello after a work day, holding them tightly, asking them about their day, and generally being the "Leave it to Beaver" kind of setting.

So yesterday after work, I was sitting on our couch, watching out the back door window and saw this:

I got choked up, realizing that all too often, I dwell on the shortcomings of Scott and the times he doesn't meet my unrealistic expectations. I focus too much on what I want and forget to give him the grace I so badly need and get from him all the time. I don't, nearly enough, take time to really see him as the amazing dad that he is or the husband he has become. I rarely take time to think back to our rocky start in life as a married couple and thank God for the transformation he has done in both of us. I get so caught up in the negative some days that I miss what's right in front of me - a Godly man working incredibly hard to support his family, to love his wife (and keep her happy) and a father doing a tremendous job at raising two boys to be young men who love and fear God.

I'm making a commitment now to give everyone more grace, especially my husband, and to be intentional about telling him more often how much I love him and appreciate him. And I'm thanking God that these images in my head are no longer distant dreams from long ago but my current reality.

Long weekend

2012-01-17T13:29:00.000-05:00

Perhaps the most scary and annoying part of moving to a new town is finding a new hair salon. Today I am taking the plunge and going on a recommendation of a co-worker who meets the one criteria for a salon reference - she has cute hair. I'm not promising any photos but we'll see. Add to that list, the chore of finding new doctors, a new dentist and a baby sitter and that makes for a really good reminder of why it's no fun to move.

The long weekend was nice and for me, was a good mix of fun, down time and productivity. There's something so refreshing about getting to Sunday afternoon and realizing you don't have to work the next day. Even as much as I love my job, I was really looking forward to a day off already. Unfortunately, Scott had to work but with his new gig, he gets every other US holiday off this year! This is a HUGE and welcome change from that other dreadful job that I won't mention since they probably have people monitoring their name on the web :) Isaac and I spent Monday playing, doing a little shopping and watching Toy Story on the couch. When I gave Connor the choice to stay with me or go to his after-care place which was taking a field trip to a cool Chuck-E-Cheese-like place, he quickly opted for the field trip. I have to remind myself that he does love me, even when he chooses pizza and games over time with mommy.

Watching Toy Story on the couch!

I'm pretty excited about Isaac's bedroom decorations and have almost finished it. It's a big deal to me because I never did decorate his nursery. I had grandiose plans, a cute color scheme and enough ideas to decorate an entire house with lambs and adorableness. Then, he decided he'd use up all my amniotic fluid and be born three weeks early. I never did go back and really decorate after he arrived and before I knew, he was 18 months old and had an exposed light switch from when I didn't even have enough motivation to buy a new one after replacing the old one. Oops. So, all that to say, he now has an adorable dinosaur room and I love it. Pictures to come on that for sure!

Well, with only a four day work week ahead, I'm going to spend the rest of my lunch hour planning a fun weekend. Our weather has finally shifted a bit, even if temporary, to give us 70 degree+ days this week and we've yet to check out the zoo here in Waco so hoping to get that on the calendar for Saturday.

Starting somewhere

2012-01-15T17:19:00.000-05:00

I really want to get back into blogging but it's normally the thing that remains at the bottom of my to-do list as other things get added. And now, where do I start?

December came and went and though I was intentional about celebrating the season and not letting our move take priority over our focus on the Savior's birth, I'm not sure how well I really accomplished that. We were blessed to have my dad with us at Christmas and for a few weeks after. I've yet to get the photos off the camera and organized. At least I can use moving on December 27 as my excuse.

Our move Texas deserves its own blog and let me be clear - I could never have survived it without my dad doing the drive with me. Our first few days were a blur and I honestly can't remember much at all of the first weekend. I'm still unpacking and finding a place for everything in our new, much smaller home but we are slowly getting to where it feels like our place and not some temporary vacation.

Our biggest praise is that Scott was offered a job just 8 days into our new city. His first week was great and it's a place where he can really make a big impact. It's no surprise that I love the work I'm doing and have quickly become a Baylor Bears fan. We went to our first basketball game on Saturday thanks to tickets from my generous boss!

The boys have both adjusted so well. Connor is doing 10 times better in Kindergarten here than he was in Florida. Isaac has adjusted to his new class very well and the teachers love him. We take all of this as confirmation that we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

Well, I think this is a good start on the blog and I leave you with some new photos. I hope your new year has started off as great as ours!

Our moving helper

Connor and AJ - a goodbye visit at Chuck E Cheese

Christmas Eve 2011

Exploring a new park in Texas- notice the clothing change :)

Think he likes the camera?

Papa and his boys!

December fun and Texas!

2011-12-15T15:54:00.000-05:00

I knew I had neglected the blog for a while but didn't realize I had missed the whole month of November! It would be impossible (and very boring for you) for me to wrap up all that November and half of December held so here's a nutshell version!

- In November, we went on our first family vacation - a cruise! We enjoyed a 4 day cruise to the Bahamas and had a blast. I have yet to sort through the photos, though! We made wonderful memories and enjoyed the time as a family.
- After a low key Thanksgiving, we moved into December decorating for Christmas, enjoying the Lakeland Christmas parade, and oh yes, Scott & I visited Waco Texas. Why? Well...
- The Shirey's are moving to Texas! Two days after Christmas, we'll be on our way to a new adventure and new life in Texas. We are thrilled! I will work at Baylor University with my boss from Florida Baptist Children's Homes who now serves as the Vice President for University Development there. Join us in praying that Scott finds a job he loves too and that the boys adjust to their new schools.

More to come on our move but for now, some new photos to share!

Playing at the park before the Christmas parade

Who doesn't like a PB&J while waiting for the parade to start?

Helping mommy make cookies! My version - break and bake!

Enjoying "snow" at Lights of Lakeland. All FL has to offer is bubbles :)

Uncle Gary moved to FL and is helping Isaac golf!

Papa is visiting and the boys are thrilled! Getting some love from Isaac.

Connor making crafts at his school party. So thankful I could go and help.

Connor and his Kindergarten teacher. Friday is his last day.

Connor and his friend Christian.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T12:51:00.000-04:00

Trick or treat was Saturday night here in Lakeland and the boys had a great time. Connor ran from house to house with our neighbor, his new friend and never got tired. Isaac nearly fell asleep by the end of the neighborhood but looked adorable in his Spiderman costume (a nice perk to just be able to re-use an old costume of Connor's). They were the cutest little Spidermen!!

Daddy had the hardest job!

I'm kind of glad it's over and now we can move on to Thanksgiving. It's probably my favorite holiday of the year and I am working on a gratitude calendar that we get to kick-off tomorrow! I'll be working with Connor on a few projects that will let us show our gratitude for the many blessings we have and help us be intentional about giving to others this year.

Ready to go!

The wagon lasted about five minutes

The best part :)

October photos

2011-10-25T21:08:00.000-04:00

School picture day! Can't wait to see the school photos and officially start the "school photos" album!

It's that time! Not the best smiles but oh well, not bad with two kids!

Oh yes, each year, he must show us how strong he is!

The first real smile I think I have ever gotten from him! Adorable!

One year later

2011-10-13T08:40:00.000-04:00

One year ago, everything in our lives boiled down to one fact. God loved us, wanted the best for us and He was in control. We handed our sweet Isaac over to very capable doctors and started a process that would test the faith we professed as much as anything ever had.

Isaac's condition and surgery changed me and I'm not sure I'll ever know an area where it didn't have some impact. It's part of his story. It's part of our testimony. I wouldn't change it (though I wouldn't care to go through it again). One year later, he is a ball of fire. He is strong-willed and full of life. He is loud, funny, care free and everything I would have ever wanted in a second child. He adores his brother. He does things in his own way and on his own time line (ahem..walking at 18 months). He's going to be an incredible young man. He's going to ask someday about this surgery experience and my prayer is that he will see two parents who sought out the very best for him and in the end, lived out their faith, along with an extended family who literally prayed him through it.

A year has passed which seems unreal. The emotions come back easily driving down I-4, looking at photos or simply washing his hair and seeing the scar. Today will be a day where we glorify God yet one more time for his miraculous healing and for choosing to give us Isaac to share our life with.

This short video is a compilation of photos from the surgery week and of Isaac throughout the rest of his first year. I've included some of my favorite scriptures as well as excerpts from my blog. It's best viewed when you have speakers to hear the song, too :)

Questioning everything

2011-10-11T20:51:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wonder if what you have to offer is ever going to be enough?

How do you put your marriage first when your kids demand every second of your attention?

When do you stop feeling guilty about wanting time alone when everyone around you needs something?

What is it like to have a balanced life where you feel like each part of your life is where it needs to be?

How do you let go of the stuff that bothers you even when you know it's not really that big of a deal?

Where do you start when someone asks if you're okay but you're really not?

What defines "okay" anyway?

At what point in your life do you start to believe that you are actually capable of raising Godly children?

When can you just let go of wanting to be someone better than who you already are?

How do you vent about something trivial to someone who is going through something much worse than you?

Where do you find the time to really enjoy your children and hear them laugh and enjoy the inquisitive questions they ask, simply because they want to know why?

How do you ignore a mess and just sit with your kids and show them quality time is more important than quantity of time?

Why is it so hard to admit you're struggling?

Why does everything sound great in your head and then play out so much differently in reality?

When is enough enough and someone has to draw a line and insist on change?

How can a house be so loud at 7:15 and you wish for silence and silence be so loud at 9:00 that you can't wait to hear the noise the next day?

When is okay to admit that your life is nothing like you thought it would be and you are not sure you are running in the right direction?

What do you do when you have way more questions than answers?

Fall temps and lessons learned

2011-10-05T21:34:00.001-04:00

I'm behind on posting so I'm going heavy on photos and light on words.

My dad's surprise retirement party in WV went great! It was such a fun surprise and he had a great time visiting with lots of friends. Isaac and I enjoyed the cooler temps and embraced the fall feeling! Isaac wasn't crazy about long pants and his long-sleeved shirt but was still very good for the trip!

My sweet dad with his Gone Fishin cake! We're hoping retirement = lots of trips to Florida!

Isaac is finally walking and it makes outings a lot more fun! We took a trip to the park for playing and a picnic last week to enjoy the cooler temps (ahem...mid 80s for those northern readers!).

no good photos because walking = always on the move!

We are at a new milestone with Isaac. It's called I'll do it my way and I don't care if you don't like I will just throw whatever is closest to me in your direction and then laugh when you tell me no :) Seriously, this 18-month old phase has been an extreme challenge to me as a mom. I've learned some important lessons, including how important the "container" is to Isaac and not just the food (don't you know that blueberries in the original leaky, sharp corner plastic container taste MUCH better than the same blueberries in a nice clean bowl?). Anyway, the biggest change has been that he insists on feeding himself and once I learned to let go of the mess and just let him do it himself, everyone is happier. Well, except the after dinner me cleaning off what is now a permanently sticky floor next to the table!

These boys are hard to handle some days, they challenge me to be a Godly mom 24/7 (even when I have to give myself a timeout to cool down and decide what response works best to whatever has been said/thrown/etc.). But it all comes down to wanting to be the one who loves them most in the world, the one who wants them to know how much they matter and how much the other "stuff" doesn't, and teaching them that as much as their mommy loves them, they have a God who loves them even more. While I'm not sure I will miss all this "excitement" they give me, I do know that someday I will look back at this season and realize just how beautiful it was - sticky floors and all.

Without ceasing

2011-09-21T15:58:00.000-04:00

I have struggled with having my daily "quiet time" the last few days. This is my time with just my bible and the quiet of a house full of sleeping boys. It's time I look forward to as I go to sleep and often the first thing I think about when I wake up. But lately, a combination of having a hard time sleeping (resulting in not wanting to get up early) and Connor waking up earlier than usual, I've missed this time. And so the day starts with a pace I'd give anything to slow and I'm thrown into the day before I've really even bowed my head.

But I can say in the last few days, I have found the ability to "pray without ceasing" (a command found in 1 Thessalonians) to be more than possible. It's been imperative.

Yesterday, it was my head laid on my desk, hiding the tears, as I prayed for the 17 year old who had just left our office. She had run from home, been living on the streets and was picked up by police and brought to us. Our case manager was doing everything she could to find her a home to lay down her head and take a shower. She hadn't bathed in days, she had nothing but the clothes she was wearing and they were more like rags. She is two months from turning 18 and said," just let me go - I'll find my way." Statistics tell us otherwise. She needed a home and someone to tell her she had a future - a chance to turn it all around. A chance to drown out the voices that had for years been telling her she wasn't capable of doing anything good. That she'd never make it anywhere but the streets. I'm so thankful that I learned today she found shelter at the Florida Baptist Children's Homes. I know without a doubt, from working there before, that she will hear the gospel before she leaves that place. And in that, she will know that God can use even her.

A few days ago, it was prayer in the car as I watched a little girl get dropped off at our Child Advocacy Center where abuse victims are examined and interviewed. She couldn't have been more than five. Her world was shattered by someone who was supposed to love her. Her "story" would forever include the words sexually abused. I prayed not even knowing what to ask but that God would somehow, someway, heal her physically and emotionally and use her to be a light for him.

Today, it was seeing a 3 month old baby in the lobby. He lit up when I got up close to stroke his cheek. My only thoughts were how in the world can a mom not want this precious baby? And how long has it been since he's felt safe and loved?

So while I haven't had my quiet time at home on the couch this week, I have had my moments with God throughout the last few days all over town. I've thanked him for putting me in a job where I can see him at work and where I have the chance to beg him for mercy on behalf of these children. What I am seeing and hearing every day is changing me and spurring me on to do what I do - to build partnerships in a community where there are people who have the means to make a difference and change how these kids end up.

If you can help, want to volunteer or will just pray, please leave me a comment!

Choosing joy

2011-09-15T19:30:00.000-04:00

In the two plus years I have been reading blogs and been a small part of the blog world, a few blogs have stuck with me and they are always the first I read when I have a few moments to spare. This one, Gitz, has challenged me to my core time after time. Sara's story of the life (and now death) God has called her to is nothing short of amazing and significant. Tonight, she is surrounded by friends and family, and Hospice, as she prepares to meet our Jesus. It will be a strange day when I no longer have Sara's words to challenge and inspire me. But through her pain and her life of choosing joy, she made an impact that may never be fully known this side of Heaven. I can only pray that if ever faced with anything even close to this kind of journey that I would display the grace and courage Sara has. I cannot wait to meet her someday.

Sara's favorite quote:

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones. And when you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.

Be well and be healed Sara. You have so earned the right to hear the words, well done my good and faithful servant. Thank you for always reminding me to choose joy.

Finally!

2011-09-14T20:14:00.000-04:00

We have waited nearly 18 months to see this boy walk...he's finally there! This was a few weeks ago and his first few steps in a row. Tonight he walked all over church and even tried to run a little.

Now, what happens after they learn to walk? They find new things to get into, of course! Yesterday, Isaac was trying to stand on his tippy-toes to open our bedroom door and of course, Connor was right there cheering him on. He has also already learned to find anything to use as a stool so he can climb on things. He gets very proud of himself as he stands on his chairs!

Tonight, I read Isaac the story of Abraham and Sarah and told him how he is already living up to the meaning of his name by making us laugh every day. I feel like every day I am reminded, just through his name, of the big purpose he will fulfill in life and that I must surrender all of my desires daily to allow God's will in his life.

He's a feisty, fun and silly boy and I love him to pieces!

His silly face before church on Sunday


Reading with daddy. He loves to point at the pictures and say "that?"

Connor is adjusting to Kindergarten, finding his place in a much bigger class and enjoying the learning to read process. It's hard to have a conversation with him without him sounding out every word and telling you what it starts or ends with. This week, they are learning about properties of matter. Both Scott & I had to stop for a second and think about what that was!! The kindergarten standards have sure changed since our days!

This past weekend, while trying to get Connor to have quiet time in his room, I wrote the time on his board that he could come out. About 10 minutes later, he came out and said the clock matched the board (which could not have been true). He had written a new time on the board to match the clock! He said it was really hard though because "the numbers kept changing and I had to keep erasing and starting over." How do you discipline after that kind of comment without laughing?

For me, it would have been too late

2011-09-11T22:23:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago today, I was living in Morgantown WV, about to graduate from college and engaged to marry Scott. But more importantly, I was spiritually lost. If I had died on 9-11, for me, it would have been too late. I would have gone to hell and spent eternity there. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church for many years. I was even baptized at one point. But I know that in my heart, I was not a believer and I was certainly not living like I was a Christian. I was a good person, doing nice things for other people and even giving money to good causes now and then. But none of that would have been enough to ensure I spent eternity in heaven (and had the blessings of living of a Godly life here on earth).

Today, as we remembered those who lost their lives on this day ten years ago and we prayed for God to bless and protect our country, I was especially grateful. Grateful that he gave me enough years to get my salvation straight. As bad as 9-11 was, I didn't run to a church and give my life to God. It took three and a half more years for me to finally surrender my life and realize that I was not here by accident, that God had a plan for me and that my life was about more than me. I'm so grateful that in 2005, I gave my life to Christ and started living according to Him and what was right in His eyes, not the world's.

So you might know where you were when 9-11 happened, but do you know where you were when you gave your life to Christ? Do you know what it means to really live for God? I love this site and how they lay it all out: http://www.notreligion.com/index.php/the-answer/The-Problem.html

All over the place

2011-09-02T21:36:00.000-04:00

1. Connor has finished week two of Kindergarten and we are so proud of him. He is getting the hang of no naps (and the evenings haven't been nearly as rough as we expected), he's making new friends, learning good manners for the bus and even remembering to pray before his lunch. He's eating new foods and already spelling the sight words we've had to learn in the first two weeks.

One of the best parts of my day is the car line each morning. We typically get there with about five or so minutes to wait and Connor is allowed to climb in the front seat while we wait. We talk about anything and everything or sometimes just sing really loud together. Lately he's been drawing me a special picture and writing me a word to "help me have a good day." I look at them when I'm in the car at lunch or out for work and my grateful heart feels as if it will burst. I have so much to be thankful for wrapped up in him.

2. We are back to Wednesday night church after the summer off and I'm so glad. Connor has graduated from his two years in Cubbies and became a Spark! He's learning John 3:16 to start and has a fabulous teacher. The room is on the "big kid" side of the church and the wave of emotion hit me as I dropped him off there this week. So much has changed in his world this month (Kindergarten, new Sunday School class and now Sparks). He's handled it like such a little man though. I love that he has God's word in his heart.

I'm doing a bible study on Wednesday so I'm happy to have that time for fellowship with other women who want to be the wives and mothers we were called to be. Isaac hangs out with his church buddies in the nursery until Scott gets there to pick him up and have some time with him in the evenings.

3. I'm fairly sure that when at the end of my earthly life, it will be days like the one captured on video below that will confirm why I had a place in this world. In a world and life that is packed with work, school, life, etc. that never slows down, an evening of laughing in the kitchen and playing "freeze dance" to the Spice Girls reminds me that life is about these kind of moments.

4. Isaac is almost 18 months old and we are coming up on the first anniversary of his surgery. It seems impossible. He is the funniest kid I've ever met and a day does not pass without him cracking us up with his facial expressions or actions. He's feisty and adorable wrapped up in a chunky body that makes my life complete. He gives wet kisses on demand and continues to adore Connor the most. I find God's incredible design of boys something to marvel. He knows exactly what to do with superheroes, complete with noises that are different for the "bad" guys. He vrooms cars and trucks like this is a speedway and loves to crash himself into the wall while on his Mickey riding toy. He is all boy and has every inch of my heart.

5. I have been very intentional about getting up nice and early these days to make time to sit in God's presence and lay my burdens at his feet each morning. My gratitude is bursting these days with the blessings God has allowed to fill my life. While we have had heartache recently with the loss of Scott's grandma and news of many friends and acquaintances leaving this earth, we are constantly reminded of God's grace and mercy. Most often through two boys who are living proof that nothing short of an amazing God and Creator could have given us anything as incredible as them!

There goes my heart

2011-08-23T08:32:00.000-04:00

I just dropped Connor off for day two of Kindergarten. Day one was mostly a success with an easy drop off and only tears on mommy's part. I read the best quote on Twitter yesterday, in just perfect timing: Sometimes we need the salt of tears to teach us how to savor the sweetness of life.

Before school...August 22, 2011


Grainy photo from Blackberry but Connor insisted Isaac be in a photo with him!

In the car about to be dropped off...

Side note: I saw all these moms parking and walking their kids in and was so mad! But, I didn't break the rules and the drop off went just fine.

There goes my heart!

Being a boy, the details I got after school were sparse but he told me about the video in the music room (where he goes before class actually starts), not liking his lunch (shocker) and of course, P.E. This morning, he confessed that he had chocolate milk with his lunch (something we don't normally have) and then stopped and said so seriously, "is that okay mommy?" I'm thankful for the daily agenda that comes home telling me how he did and what they learned.

Now, if I can just figure out how to get in and out of the car line in less than 20 minutes, life will be grand!

It must be a mistake

2011-08-21T20:37:00.000-04:00

I was pretty sure it was a mistake. Surely they cannot expect you to drop your baby boy, just five years old, off to the first day of Kindergarten in the car line! So I asked for clarification. "You mean I can't walk him on the first day?" No, she told me. Apparently they think us crazy moms might break down being hysterical or something :/

So here we are. The eve of Kindergarten and my heart is torn. School is not new for us. We've been on that road since he was just 14 weeks old but this is different. This is elementary school. This is the beginning of a love for learning and an experience that will bring out his character, his wisdom and his personality in brand-new ways. This is eating lunch in a cafeteria and no one there to remind him to say his prayers. This is sharing hallways with big kids and new experiences every day. This is a special music class, PE days, library time. This is...well...a big deal.

I'm thankful that he's excited. I'm thankful that he loves school and seems to thrive in a structured environment. I'm thankful that I've had time to adjust to the idea of him being away from me during the day and that we have seen so many sides of him we love as a result of him being in school. I'm thankful he has a biblical foundation in his heart. But...but still. My heart is mixed tonight. Part of me wants to relive those early weeks with him at home. Part of me aches for the baby I could so easily protect. Part of me wants to just hang on and keep him young and innocent forever. But just as all parents do at some point in their children's lives, I must let him go and give him room to grow.

One of my all-time favorite authors and speakers, Lysa TerKeurst posted the following prayer on her blog a while ago and I printed it out and have kept in my bible since. I recently posted it on the refrigerator so I could pray it every day. It seems the perfect time to let this be my daily prayer -

God, make Connor and Isaac two of the most Godly people of their generation.
God, let them get caught when they make wrong choices.
God, save them from the wrong friends and the wrong mate, so they may be saved for the right friends and the right mate.
God, give me the courage to let You write Connor and Isaac's testimonies.

I guess it's time to put it into practice! I'll be the mom in the car line tomorrow morning snapping photos out the window and trying to be strong for my little man! In the words of one of my favorite songs...I'll have tears as you take off but I'll cheer as you fly!

Kindergarten 2011

Home with the Lord

2011-08-17T09:02:00.000-04:00

It is the unexpected phone call no one wants to receive. It is the cold, harsh reminder that with life comes loss and grief. Today we learned that Scott's grandma Marie went to be with her Creator and Lord. After what seemed to be a routine knee surgery and receiving an update that she would most likely go to her earthly home tomorrow, God had other plans. He was instead ready to receive her to heavenly home. Our hearts are broken and we mourn for the time we wish we still had with her. And yet we know, that as followers of Jesus Christ, we have the promise of eternal life and we will see her again.

Marie was the closest thing I had to my own grandma. My father's mom died when I was 2 and I have no memories of her. My mom's side of the family is complicated but I grew up with only a Papa on her side. So when I started dating Scott, his grandparents pretty much adopted me as their own. And I was thrilled to have two grandparents who loved me and showed me what that relationship was supposed to look like. Over the years, we have not seen them as much as we would have liked. But the ongoing notes and letters back and forth and phone updates were something we treasure. Marie was always proud of Scott and our family and interested to hear the funny things our boys were saying and doing. She was an incredible grandma and great-grandma and loved by many. We will miss her terribly.

I am thankful she had a personal relationship with the Lord and that she was sure of her salvation. We know from God's word that nothing can separate us from Him, not even death and that we will be reunited with her someday. We mourn for her loss here on earth but rejoice in the full healing our God has given her. Our hearts are heavy but we cling to what we know - those who love God and accept him as their personal Savior and Lord are promised an eternal life with Him.

Fellow Christ-followers, please pray with us for Scott's dad Mike, his aunts Gaye and Amy, and his grandfather Ed as they feel this loss more than anyone. For the many family, grandkids and great-grandkids and friends who loved her, please pray that God will bring the comfort and peace that only He can to this family. Please pray that many who do not know God will make that decision now as we are again reminded of not being promised tomorrow. Pray that Scott & I will be bold in our witness and can demonstrate the love of Christ to those in need.

Marie, we will see you again and when we get there, we will rejoice and worship the King with you.

Teaching moments

2011-08-08T21:27:00.000-04:00

They are teaching moments. A tiny person is shouting "dis...dis...dis" at me from the high chair and pointing furiously to an object somewhere on the counter that is filled with at least 10 things he could want. I have no idea what "dis" he is referring to and in his frustration at my delay to respond, he sends his cup flying across the room, leaving a spatter of milk on everything in its path.

A demanding five year is shouting requests at me, ranging from what episode of Phineas and Ferb he wants to watch, can I bring him a snack and oh, yes, where is that toy with the thing, you know, that spins?

During the day, I have missed them. I have physically ached at how much I miss them and I drive to school to pick them up in so much anticipation that I just can't wait to hear about their day, read what they had the most fun doing at school and sweep them up with hugs and kisses. My expectations are so high that of course, I am going to be let down. On this particular day, I am disciplining even before we are in the car. Don't hit, don't pull on him, please let me finish speaking, please and thank you and on and on and on.

As the evening progresses, I see their tired eyes and their need to just have affection from me. They want to be held (at the same time, of course) and they want to have my undivided attention. It makes no difference to them that dinner must be cooked, dishes must be put away or that their requests actually require me to not be in their presence for a few minutes. They simply want their mom.

And so I sit. And they climb on me, they pull on me, they want to push me over and then they laugh. They give kisses, they throw balls and they laugh. And I sigh because they are all teachable moments. Every decision I make, every word I choose in love and discipline, every tear they don't see seeping out..they are all reflective of how I let God's love show through me in how I parent them.

Hours later the house is silent. They toys are cleaned up, dishes are put away and the day is nearly behind me. And though I'm still exhaling from the evening and the tiredness sets in, I miss them already. I miss their giggles. I miss their need for affection. I get my expectations up for the next day, knowing I will probably fall short but it's okay. They need me and I am their mom. They are small and innocent and worth every second. They are teachable and God has chosen me to teach them.

Is it cold?

2011-08-07T20:41:00.000-04:00

It's always a great stage when you don't need anything more than a really cold water bottle to entertain your kids...

Favorite July photos

2011-08-06T20:25:00.000-04:00

Wolverine doing house cleaning

4th of July fun - thanks for the pop-its Papa!

His first sparklers - he did good!

Celebrating his friend Luke's 5th superhero birthday with friend Nicholas

Isaac loved his time at the museum party

Making orange juice with brother

Tall enough to reach it all on his own

Looking like such a little man before church

Annual beach trip

2011-08-06T20:07:00.000-04:00

For the past three years, we have been visiting with Scott's aunt and uncle during their annual visit to Clearwater Beach. It's been a great tradition and a chance to see family we wouldn't otherwise see (they live in PA).

This year was especially fun as 1. they had never met Isaac 2. it was Isaac's first trip to the beach and 3. they had an amazing condo! We always have a great time visiting with the Mahood's and seem to leave each year, sad that we don't see them more often. And every year, we have a talk in the car about how we hope our kids want to vacation with us when they are older! I tell you this family did a lot of things right and we are so grateful to call them family.

Giving Kevin a high five!

Isaac was smitten with Katie!

Connor's favorite memory from the beach: playing with the "big kids" (aka adults, haha!)

Man on a mission

Sand on his toes for the first time

Digging in the sand together

Umm..I'm not sure about this sand stuff on my hands!

He would run in and then run out screaming. Loved it!

So happy! He was squealing the whole time

Lindsey and Katie loving on Isaac.

Is it August?

2011-08-05T21:27:00.000-04:00

Well, somehow I missed July and here we are a few weeks from the start of school. Even though I'm not in the realm of summers off, I've enjoyed all that summer brought our way. Of course, you wouldn't know it because I have seriously neglected this blog space. I guess it's just the season of life where things like this get placed way at the bottom of the list. I'm thinking of series of quick, photo-heavy posts is the way to go.

Isaac loves to look outside and loves the pool. He cries whenever someone goes out on the porch without him.

Looking back...this is June (I think) - this is how the boys playing together goes most of the time.

Connor: I think I'll play with my drum

Isaac: Sits on drum.

Connor: Tries to tip Isaac off the drum. Mommy puts down camera and rescues him!

Isaac then taught himself how to turn the hamper over and climb on top of it. This was all fun and laughs until he wanted down at which point he just sat and cried for someone to help him. It took a day or two but he finally learned to get down on his own.

The sweetest sound

2011-07-22T11:33:00.000-04:00

I really hate those Baby Center emails that tell you not to worry if your kid is the only one out of 700 not walking...or talking..or whatever. I really need to unsubscribe but just can't because I like all the articles and development tips that go along with them. With the second baby, it really is much easier to ignore the "standard development time line" and just go with the flow. For a while. And then you start thinking, okay baby, let's get on with this walking and talking thing.

Anyway, it has been slow and steady but we've watch Isaac do his version of crawling (which if you ask my very brilliant, PhD friend Teri, is absolutely a form crawling), gradually learn to crawl for real (though he's painfully slow) and then pull up. Now, he is cruising around the furniture and pushing his toys..and anything else he can find. It's been fun to see him progress and I'm sure he'll be walking on his own very soon. Here are some of the first "assisted steps."

He's also back to talking which makes me extremely happy. He talked very early on (cat, mama, up, etc.) but then really stopped when he started working on the gross motor stuff. Now, I'm hearing "mama" many times a day and I think each time is just as sweet as the first. There's just something about him knowing we belong together that makes me incredibly happy.

Now, if we could just work on eliminating the meltdowns over being told no and the awful protesting during diaper changes, we'd be golden.

Breaking the silence

2011-07-20T13:23:00.000-04:00

One cool baby..beach trip recap coming soon!

Many have emailed me to ask if I'm okay since I haven't been blogging. I'm so thankful that this space has become a place for others to find encouragement. I've most likely let many of you down by being so inconsistent with posting. First and foremost, I am okay! However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I have been through a very difficult season the last few months and I've struggled with just how transparent to be in this space. I'm faced with the fact that this is a public blog, and well therefore, the public can read it with no control on my part. I must be careful with how much I say and how I say it. Yet, at the same time, the fact that I am a very open person has greatly contributed to the impact this blog has been able to have on others. So, I've been silent.

Today, I just wanted to say hello, to say that God is at work in our lives big time and to say that I appreciate the fact that so many continue to stop by this page to see if a new update is here or not (I have some very cool programs working in the background that show me page views, when, how long, etc.).

I do have very good intentions about getting back to blogging regularly, whether it's to post new pictures of the boys, tell about what's going on with us, or share some of my "God stories" as he continues to bless us and mold us into being more like Him. I'm actually working out a post on an "issue" that's been eating me for a few days - those who claim to be Christians and yet not only refuse to take a stand on the basic principles found in the bible (i.e. sanctity of human life) but go as far as encouraging others to "look the other way" while people continue to choose which parts of the bible are convenient to believe and practice. I need to continue to hash this out in my own way (like writing 10 drafts to get it right) but I think it's so important that Christians not be afraid to speak truth, especially among forums that are filled with so many unbelievers.

I also have some adorable photos and videos of my boys I need to get on here. But for now, please know that I appreciate the feedback you've given and I'll be back soon!

Love,
Andrea

Hula hooping is hilarious

2011-06-27T11:06:00.000-04:00

There are a few sounds that will make me smile no matter how bad the day has been. One of those is Isaac's laughter. We discovered one evening last week that apparently, to Isaac, hula hooping is hilarious. Connor enjoyed the chance to entertain his brother and I was happy to catch it on video.

2011-06-23T15:15:00.000-04:00

photo not really related to post but just funny!

Things I am absolutely sure of:
1. God is good.
2. In the "end," God works all things for his good and glory (my version of Romans 8:28).
3. My relationship with God is stronger than my circumstances.
4. My circumstances could be much, much worse.
5. Pride is wrong. To be humble is to be Christ-like.
6. God has a plan and I need not complain when I don't understand it or can't see the big picture.
7. My timing is not relevant. God's timing is always perfect.
8. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
9. Every decision I make must be in accordance with God's will - not with the will of others.
10. God is in control.

I'm sure there are more..but number one and number ten pretty much sum it all up.

Things I'm looking forward to:
1. Seeing my boys at 5:00 today and hearing Connor tell me about his day
2. Finishing a painting project at home and getting one step closer to my kitchen "re-do" being done
3. Laying my head down tonight on a soft pillow, in a nice bed, with the people I love and having perspective wash over me.
4. Waking up on Friday and not having to go to work
5. Spending the weekend at the beach with my family.

The fact that this list could go on and on reminds me that I am living a blessed life. The current season might be filled with some heart ache and longing,and some lessons on grace, humility and patience I'd rather not learn but ultimately, I know that God is good, His word is true and I trust him. Beyond that, nothing else really matters.

2011-06-15T14:25:00.000-04:00

Last May, I had lunch with a friend and someone I consider to be a true model for a Godly woman and wife. I was having a rough day, venting, and was brutally honest with her about how I was feeling about married life that day. She reminded me that being married is a true blessing from God who created the idea and designed it perfectly. She reminded me that great marriages go through many seasons, including the one I was finding myself in at that moment (I call it the tired, emotionally-draining, crazy season). She pointed me to God and told me to keep talking to Him first and to my spouse second. She said an hour’s worth of encouraging words but something really stuck with me – she told me the hardest year of her 20+ year marriage was the first year with two kids. It was validation, encouragement and relief all in one.

Today is my 9^th wedding anniversary and I’ve held onto her words this year, not focusing on the “hardest year” part but on the fact she is still beyond-happily married and displays a love and passion for her husband that I’ve not seen in any other person I know. I’m truly celebrating our marriage today (even though I saw him for about 20 minutes this morning and we will spend our evening at church doing VBS stuff). Most of all, I’m celebrating that we are still in this marriage- together – for better and worse. In a sense, today feels like, “wow, we made it through another year.” I don’t mean that in a negative way but in a real-life kinda way.

This 9^th year of marriage earned us some serious bragging rights, I think. We’ve dealt with a lot of change and a lot of unexpected stuff and yet managed to remain partners through it. There have been some really tough days/weeks/months and honestly, times where we both probably questioned if we could “do this” forever. But I’m proud of the way we have both tried to understand where the other person is coming from and actually changed our own behaviors to make it easier on the other one. I’m proud of the way we parent together, respecting each other’s ideas and ways of doing things. I love that we can be completely honest with one another about our needs or fears and be confident that the other will listen. I love that when I’m a mess and incredibly difficult to understand, Scott finds a way to make sense of me anyway.

It’s way too early in this journey of ours to start handing out marriage advice but I will say that I believe the key to being where we are today has everything in the world to do with having a God-centered marriage and Godly role models. We are both committed to following Christ first and though both of us have ample room to grow spiritually, we understand what marriage was intended to be and strive to make that a reality for ourselves. We make sacrifices for each other. We do things we don’t want to do. We give up our right to “win.” We keep perspective and try to remember that the problems we are facing are temporary.

There will be more seasons, I know, and maybe (or probably) more difficult ones than this past year. But I’m confident that Scott & I will be somewhere amazing this time next year, celebrating ten years and dreaming about what the next ten might hold.

ER visit, post-op and photos

2011-06-14T20:21:00.000-04:00

Blogging would be so much easier if I didn't feel like going to bed at 9pm every night or didn't have a day job! Here are some quick updates from our little place in the world...or you can skip to the end for more pictures.

First ER visit

We made it five years with no major injuries or trips to the ER for Connor - a pretty good run though it's now over. Connor & some friends were playing at a local indoor play place and involved in a fun game of tag. But you know what they say - it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. The older brother of his friend came running up to us (me and the other moms) saying, Connor has blood! Thinking it was just a busted lip or something, we rush back and I find a sight I won't soon forget. Connor's face was so bloody that I could not immediately tell where the injury was. His hands were bloody, he had blood on his shirt and shorts and it was everything I could to hold back my fear and tears. I calmly smiled at him and asked him where it hurt. Just above his eye was a big gash -- the source of all the blood. We spent the next 15 minutes getting him cleaned up and waiting for Scott to come get Isaac before heading to the ER. Three hours, six stitches and a popsicle later, everyone survived.

Patiently waiting in the ER - so sleepy!

After lots of prayer, TLC, six stitches and a popsicle!

All smiles getting the stitches out! (Retro photo on my phone)

Connor was amazing through it all. He was brave, barely cried and never freaked out. (Mommy had to walk away a few times to calm down and not let him sense the fear I had.) We are so thankful to our friend, Kristen, and her boys who were so sweet with him. Kristen's oldest prayed with Connor before we left for the hospital and the younger one was worried about him all evening. Kristen even stopped at the ER later to bring us snacks and drinks.

The best news - after just five days, the stitches came out and the boo-boo is healing just fine. We're hoping for an inconspicuous scar since it's just above the eyebrow but only time will tell. And as my dad said, it's all over...until the next time.

Isaac's 6-month post-op

Yesterday, Isaac had his six month post-op visit with the neurosurgery and craniofacial team. (Start here to read our journey with surgery to correct Isaac's metopic craniosynostosis). I took the opportunity to take the day off work and spend a fun day with him and we had an amazing day. We started with a trip to IKEA for a few new things (including a super cool artwork display idea I saw online) and a small desk for Connor's room. Then we headed over to the Mall at Millenia for lunch and some play time in the kids area. Finally, it was time for the appointment and though I had pretty much smiled/laughed the entire day up until this point, that changed the minute we got close to the doctor's office. As soon as I pulled in, I felt tears well up and had an awful feeling in my stomach. I am always amazed at the body's physical response to emotional pain. There were so many visits to this place and so many appointments leading up to his surgery. Being there just brought it all back. Thankfully, Isaac got a great report and was cleared for another 6-month stretch before another check up is needed. At some point, we'll get to move to annual visits.

The neuro doc was very nice and said that Isaac was very smart for his age - something a mama always loves to hear. It could be because Isaac greeted him with a wave and a "hi" when he came in or maybe it was the kiss he blew him when we left? Regardless, it was nice to hear. We headed back to Lakeland and spent the rest of the afternoon at home just playing and hanging out. It really was the perfect kind of day.

Hopefully this will be the extent of our visits to the doctors for the next few months.Here are some recent photos of the boys!

Apparently when you turn five, this is your new "smile" face.

At the end of our four day trip to WV - this is how everyone felt!

AWANA ceremony - he made it through two Cubbie books and got all his badges!


After Isaac's first haircut. Not sure I ever mentioned that on the blog, oops.

Connor's new "thing" - getting in the crib in the mornings with Isaac. They both love this time together and it gives mommy a few extra minutes in the morning!

Being silly boys in the bathtub

One of those moments that just happens and you thank God for blessing you twice!

Big boy standing up (with his favorite Cookie book)

Adorable! At the Glazer Children's Museum

Playing at the Museum

Connor, AKA Spiderman, at the Museum

Isaac's journey and God's perfect healing

2011-06-14T14:34:00.000-04:00

Recently, a few families found my blog looking for information on craniosynostosis. Because I benefited greatly from the resources and personal stories I found when our own journey started, I am making it easy for others to use this space as a resource as well. This post will be linked on the side of my blog soon - please feel free to share it with anyone you think may benefit from it. I firmly believe we are allowed to suffer through trials so that we can encourage others who experience similar situations. That's not my idea- it's found right here:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Below are all of my blog posts related to our journey with our son Isaac through his diagnosis of metopic craniosynostosis and the surgery that followed. We pray that you will find encouragement, advice, and hope through our walk and that our experience will somehow help you with yours! May God's mercy and grace guide you!

Please note: these posts are not intended to give medical advice.

How did we get here?

2011-05-25T12:40:00.000-04:00

She is holding the smallest, most fragile being she has ever laid eyes on. Her mind races with thoughts about what to do, what to remember, what to say to this little boy who now depends on her to survive. Being a mom was what she had dreamed of for years and now she is terrified to mess it up. To mess him up. To let this little person down who had no choice in who his mother would be. She thinks that if only there was a way for him to understand the depth of her love for him at this moment, he could go ahead and forgive her for all the mistakes she would make. If only there was a way for him to know how head-over-heels in love she was with him already and how at any moment, she would give all she had to know he would be okay in this world.

She watches him hold on to daddy's hand and fill with excitement about the things that are most important to him on this day - playing, laughing, exploring. She wonders if he knows that she still holds her breath when daddy tosses him in the air, or when he's running with a stick or that she still wells up with tears at the sight of him delighting in just being a boy. She smiles at the sight of him adoring his daddy, watching and emulating him and wonders if he is aware of the influence this man will have on his life.

She cannot form the words at the sight of him holding his baby brother and staring at this new family member who has just been given to us by God. She cannot hold back the tears as he strokes and kisses his tiny head and asks questions about his eyes and hands and tiny toes. She wonders if he has any idea the kind of love a mother is capable of while watching one of her children adore the other. She wonders if his young mind yet comprehends the magnitude and power of a God who can create life.

She watches him cross the stage, a sweet smile across his face and a reassuring look that we are watching him. He beams with pride, perhaps one of the first times he is so aware of an accomplishment. She flashes to the day she dropped him off for the first time in someone else's care, to the mornings of rough drop off's and the afternoons of hugs and art projects and papers showing the things he's learned. She listens to the sound of his voice reciting scripture and knows that God has kept his hand on this child for a special purpose. She silently cries out to God in thankfulness for his mercy and his grace on this life. She wonders if he knows that the mom who cooks him dinner and gives him baths and prays with him is the mom who fears she'll never do enough to prepare him. She wonders what he sees through his five year old eyes and if her life is the testimony he needs. She worries that some day he'll have a hurt she cannot soothe, a broken heart she cannot mend or worse. She rejoices at the thought of his life being used by God to bring others to know him, at the anticipation of the moment he discovers exactly what God has planned for him. She feels the sting of tears as he looks at her and smiles, wanting only the confirmation that she is proud.

She makes herself laugh at the fact that he doesn't want to stand still for photos (so she doesn't cry) and realizes the importance is not in the perfect photos but in the memory of the moment. She stares at him for a few seconds that seem to last forever, determined to etch this moment into her deepest memories. She knows that someday, much too soon, he'll be three feet taller and it won't be kindergarten up ahead but a scary world to navigate on his own. So for now, she takes a deep breath and focuses on her gratitude for the years that remain ahead. They have so many moments to look forward to, together, and she smiles knowing the joy that is in store. She kisses his head, tells him how proud she is of him and together they look at the scrapbook of the year they are leaving behind. She is full - of joy, of pride, of love for the graduate with so much opportunity waiting just ahead. Dream big sweet pea. We'll be cheering you on every step of the way.

Preschool graduation preview

2011-05-23T11:49:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow night, I'll be in the church watching my baby boy close the Preschool chapter of his life and look forward to the next adventure. There will be tissues and cameras galore, I'm sure! When I finally string this flurry of words together that's bumping around in my head today, you know I'll post it here. For now, I'm posting a link to Connor's graduation card that I got for free because if I post it here, I will get a $10 coupon to order more photos!

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.